Would You Rather Fight 100 Chicken-Sized Zombies or One Zombie-Sized Chicken? The Ultimate Survival Showdown!

Hey there, fellow survival enthusiasts! Today I’m gonna tackle one of the most debated hypothetical scenarios in the zombie-apocalypse community: would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized zombies or one zombie-sized chicken? This question has been keeping me up at night, and I bet you’ve wondered about it too!

The Scenario Breakdown

Before we dive into the pros and cons of each terrifying option, let’s get clear on what we’re dealing with here:

Option 1 100 tiny zombies each about the size of your average chicken (approximately 16-18 inches tall)

Option 2: 1 massive chicken with the attributes of a zombie (probably standing around 5-6 feet tall)

Now, I know what your thinking – “this is silly!” But trust me, these thought experiments can actually teach us a lot about strategy, threat assessment, and our own fight-or-flight instincts. Plus, it’s just plain fun to debate!

The Case for Fighting 100 Chicken-Sized Zombies

Advantages

• Individual weakness: Each tiny zombie would have very limited strength
• Fragile bodies: Smaller frames means easier to disable or destroy
• Limited reach: Their tiny arms couldn’t grab you effectively
• Lower individual bite force: Less damage per bite

Disadvantages

• Overwhelming numbers: 100 is A LOT of attackers coming from different directions
• Swarm tactics: They could potentially climb on each other or surprise you
• Psychological factor: The sheer creepiness of tiny zombies might cause hesitation
• Tracking difficulty: Hard to keep eyes on all 100 at once

When I consider this option, I immediately think about crowd control. You’d need some kind of sweeping weapon – maybe a tennis racket, hockey stick, or even a broom. The main challenge would be keeping them from surrounding you and attacking from multiple angles.

The Case for Fighting One Zombie-Sized Chicken

Advantages

• Single target: Only need to focus on one opponent
• Predictable movement: Easier to track one large enemy
• No flanking: Can’t be surrounded by multiple attackers
• Simpler strategy: Focus all efforts on one target

Disadvantages

• Enormous strength: A 5-6 foot zombie chicken would be incredibly powerful
• Devastating attacks: Those pecks and claw strikes would be lethal
• Thick hide/feathers: Potentially harder to injure
• Height advantage: Could literally look down on you during the fight

The zombie chicken would basically be like fighting a velociraptor with a taste for brains instead of regular meat. Those talons could easily disembowel you, and a zombie chicken wouldn’t feel pain or hesitate to attack.

Weapon Considerations

Your choice of weapon drastically changes this equation Here’s what might work best for each scenario

For the chicken-sized zombies:

• Baseball bat
• Flamethrower (if available lol)
• Chain or whip
• Machete
• Leaf blower (to create distance)

For the zombie-sized chicken:

• Spear (keep that beast at a distance)
• Shotgun (if available)
• Chainsaw (risky but effective)
• Axe or halberd
• Shield + sword combo

Environmental Factors

The battlefield matters almost as much as your opponents! Consider these variables:

The Science Behind the Scenario

While this is clearly a hypothetical question, we can apply some real science to better understand each threat:

The Zombie-Sized Chicken Threat Assessment

An average chicken weighs about 5-7 pounds. If scaled up to human size (let’s say 5’10”), that chicken would weigh approximately 180-210 pounds. The square-cube law tells us that as animals increase in size, their strength increases by the square of the scaling factor while their weight increases by the cube.

This means our zombie chicken would actually be somewhat limited by its own weight – its legs would need to be proportionally thicker than a normal chicken’s to support its frame. However, its beak and talons would still be formidable weapons.

The Chicken-Sized Zombie Threat Assessment bite force averages around 162 pounds per square inch (PSI). Scaled down to chicken size, each zombie would still have a bite force of maybe 20-30 PSI – enough to break skin and cause painful injuries. Their reduced weight (maybe 15-20 pounds each) would make them easy to knock down, but there’s still 100 of them!

My Personal Choice

After spending way too much time thinking about this (seriously, my wife is concerned), I’ve made my decision: I would rather fight the 100 chicken-sized zombies. Here’s why:

1. I’m confident in my ability to take out small targets repeatedly
2. I think the psychological horror of a giant zombie chicken is worse than tiny zombies
3. With the right weapon, I could potentially take out multiple small zombies with each swing
4. If I get overwhelmed, I could possibly escape by climbing somewhere they can’t reach

But that’s just me! Your choice might be different based on your physical abilities, weapon preferences, or general strategy.

Survival Strategies

Strategy for 100 Chicken-Sized Zombies

1. Find elevated ground ASAP
2. Use sweeping attacks to hit multiple targets
3. Create a choke point where they can only approach from one direction
4. Conserve energy by letting them come to you
5. Prioritize any that get closest to your legs

Strategy for One Zombie-Sized Chicken

1. Maintain distance at all costs
2. Target the legs to reduce mobility
3. Use obstacles to slow it down
4. Aim for the head (zombie rules apply)
5. Never turn your back on it

What the Internet Thinks

I ran a Twitter poll last week asking this very question, and the results were fascinating:

• 68% would rather fight the chicken-sized zombies
• 27% would rather fight the zombie-sized chicken
• 5% wrote in answers like “I’d rather die” or “Can I have a flamethrower?”

Psychological Implications of Your Choice

Your preference in this scenario might actually reveal something about your personality:

• If you choose the 100 chicken-sized zombies: You might prefer dealing with many smaller challenges rather than one overwhelming one. You’re probably good at multitasking and handling stress from multiple sources.

• If you choose the zombie-sized chicken: You might prefer focusing deeply on single problems. You’re likely confident in your ability to overcome significant obstacles if you can concentrate your efforts.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, neither option is particularly appealing (duh!). But these “would you rather” scenarios are great for sparking conversations about strategy, psychology, and our deepest fears. Plus, they’re a fun way to bond with friends over ridiculous hypotheticals.

For me, I’ve already got my baseball bat ready for the chicken-sized zombie apocalypse. My neighbor thinks I’m crazy, but who’ll be laughing when tiny zombies invade? Probably still not me, but at least I’ve got a plan!

So what do YOU think? Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized zombies or one zombie-sized chicken? Drop your answer in the comments below, and don’t forget to share your strategy!

Stay safe out there, and remember – whether it’s tiny zombies or giant chickens, cardio is always rule #1 in the apocalypse!

Disclaimer: No actual zombies or chickens were harmed in the writing of this article. But I did scare my own chickens by measuring them for “research purposes”.